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Jabari– Too Helpful
Written By: Tammy Ferebee

            It’s been a while huh? Yeah I know. But I have a good excuse for being so out of touch. I’m married to Talia. Don’t shake your heads ladies. You’ve read enough to know that I have my hands full with my wife. 
            So what’s new with me and the Mrs.? There’s always something going on with us. Let me take you back a few days. Talia was sitting on the sofa when I made it back home from work. She was sitting with her feet propped up, her laptop in her lap, and those fingertips just working away on that keyboard. I greeted my wife, kissed her, the usual. She explains that she has some good news to tell me. That night, I needed to hear some good news so I was anxious to listen. She first asked and I quote, “Babe, do you remember the movie, ‘A Girl Like Me’?” I nodded. I remembered the movie clearly. It was a true story based on the life and death of a transgender. A movie my wife watched repeatedly and a story my wife became damn near obsessed with. 
            You see, my wife is that woman who watches Lifetime every day. She’s that person who obsesses over every tragedy she learns about. Don’t believe me? Let me finish my story…
            So like I said, she obsessed over this film. While I was at work, she decided to find transgender groups in our area. Not a bad thing. I actually figured she’d want to help transgenders. I saw that coming while I was watching the movie with her. Moving on…she didn’t just search for these groups, she decided to join a chat room. For hours, while I’m a work, working my ass off, my wife is at home chatting away with transgender men and women. She’s telling them how the story of Gwen Araujo broke her heart and how she wants to desperately help others like her. 
            So that was the good news from my wife. I quote, “Baby I organized a group for transgender men and women. It’s not a big group. It’ll be between eight and ten people. They’ll talk to each other about they’re hardships, lean on each other, and I want to be their support.”
            I looked at my wife. I can always tell when she’s keeping something from me. I knew there was more to tell me. She didn’t just organize a meeting for transgenders. She did more than that. 
            I looked at my wife; no smile on my face. I asked and I quote, “What are you hiding Talia.”
            She smiled and responded, “I organized the meeting here.”
            I waited for my wife to laugh and tell me she was just kidding, but she didn’t. I didn’t mean to yell at her, but I had to ask her, “Talia, are you out of your F*%#@ing mind?! You’re going to invite a bunch of gender confused men to my house?”
            She of course went on to explain how they need support and how she can help. I mean I love that my wife has such a good heart. I love that she wants to help. But in this case she was taking things too far. I’m not walking in from a long day of work to see ten cross-dressing men and women chatting it up in my living room. And I don’t say this to be offensive. I’m not a homophobic. I have nothing against gay people. I actually wish the rest of the world would leave them alone and let them do what they want. But having meetings in my house. Hell no! First of all if I let Talia do that, it would become a weekly meeting group. Following that, my wife would organize a transgender day parade. I had to put my foot down. It’s okay to be helpful, but Talia needs me. She needs me to let her know when she’s being overly helpful. I let her get away with thinking she just wanted to help too much. In my mind, my wife is one step from crazy. 
            I don’t know what I’m going to do with this woman…

 

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