Jabari- Everything Isn’t For You
Written By: Tammy Ferebee
So I’m sitting here watching a rented movie by myself. I’m not in the room alone. Talia is sitting on the loveseat with an attitude. Usually when she has an attitude, I have something to apologize for. Or at least she thinks there’s something I should be apologizing for. But not today. I’m going to sit right here and watch my movie. Oh and of course, tell you guys why she’s pouting.
About twenty minutes ago, I poured myself a tall glass of juice. While I was in the kitchen, I kindly asked, and I quote, “Baby, do you want some juice?” She didn’t want any, so I poured one glass. I walked back into the living room area and sat my glass of juice down; only so I could head back into the kitchen to grab a few snacks. With a few snacks in hand, I walked back into the living room and crawled up under a blanket on the couch with my lovely wife. Things sound pretty good right? Ha! I ate a few chips and reached for my glass, and guess what, it was empty. I looked over at Talia. She looks at me with the, what did I do wrong face. I tell her, and I quote, “Go refill my glass.” Do you know what she tells me? Another quote, “It’s too cold. I don’t want to get up.” I wanted to throw my glass at her. But I’m a man. A real man. My mother raised me right. I’d never cause physical harm to a woman. So I got back up, walked back into the kitchen, and refilled my glass. On my way back into the living room, I stopped to think. Everything isn’t meant to be shared. Some things should be just for me and it’s about time my wife understands that. I mean, she definitely makes sure she has her name written on certain things. I’ve been with this woman for four years and I’m not even allowed to walk into her closet. How the hell is that fair? I can’t walk into her closet, but she’s lying on the sofa in my boxers right now.
I turned right back around and walked back into the kitchen. I grabbed her overpriced crystal salt shaker, and seasoned my drink just a little. With a smile on my face, I made my way right back over to the sofa. I crawled right back underneath our comfy cozy blanket, and waited.
Surprisingly we made it through the previews without her taking a sip, but just like I had predicted, my wife reached down and grabbed my glass of fruit punch. Now don’t forget, I’m lying right beside her. Does she ask? Nope. So I didn’t stop her. She took a nice swallow of that salted juice and that face; classic. I should have had my camera phone ready. She jumped off the sofa and ran into the kitchen to wash her mouth out. I was all kinds of assholes on her way back into the living room. I couldn’t even respond because I was too busy laughing. And I don’t feel even a little sorry for her. That’s exactly what she gets.
So that’s the story ya’ll. Talia is pissed off because she drank salted juice that didn’t belong to her. So like I said before, I’m watching the movie alone and she’s sitting on the loveseat with her back to the television.
Hey fellas, I got up one last time and poured myself a fresh glass of juice. I asked my wife if she’d like some. Her response, a direct quote, “No!”
A lesson learned.