Jabari- Don’t Cut Your Hair
Written By: Tammy Ferebee
My wife, my wife. I love this woman, but sometimes I really just want to…I don’t know what I want to do, but this woman can really drive me up the wall.
Last night I came in from work and stood in front of the mirror. I took a really good look at myself and decided that it was time for the two and a half inches on my head to go. My head was getting too hot; I was tired of having to maintain it. Oh hell, I don’t have to make excuses for ya’ll. I looked dumb as hell with that mess on my head. My wife is the only person in the world who thinks I look sexy with hair on my head. Does her opinion matter? Of course it does. But mine matters more. Why? Because it’s my damn head.
Anyway, I turned to my wife who was lying on the bed, and I told her what I was about to do. Almost immediately, the attitude came. I understand that she likes to see me a certain way and that she finds me more attractive when I have a little hair on my head. All of that’s important. But I’m telling ya’ll, hair doesn’t do anything for me. So what did I do? You already know. I grabbed my clippers, blew the dust of them, and cut it off. After hopping out of the shower, I walked back into the bedroom and took another look in the mirror. My wife still lying in bed, tapping away on her laptop. I turned to her and asked her what she thought. Her reply, and I quote, “I feel about you right now, the same way you’d feel about me if I chopped off all my hair.” Okay, I’ll admit that if my woman chopped off all her hair, her ass would be bald and single. But I’m a man. She’s a woman. She’s supposed to look cute. Her hair is supposed to be down her back. I on the other hand should look like a man. A professional man at that.
I know women are reading this and calling me shallow for saying I wouldn’t stay with my wife if she decided to pull an Erykah Badu. But I’m not a shallow man. When I met my wife, she had hair. I was attracted to her then and it would be unfair of her to change her appearance now. When she met me, I didn’t have any hair. She married me with no hair, so apparently she’s attracted to me that way. I can understand that longer hair may be more attractive to her, but it’s not like she married me one way and I changed on her once we jumped the broom. (sigh) Why is it so hard to please women? I work hard, I provide, I love her moody ass. Geez. All I need is a hot meal, her love, my side of the bed to myself, and to be able to cut my hair without her throwing a tantrum. Is that too much to ask?